I hope everyone out there had a Merry Christmas and
a Happy New Years Celebration. Oh, and we survived the “Mayan Apocalypse”
on December 21st which even people who study Mayan culture
emphasized that the Mayan Calendar rolling over to zero doesn’t signify the
end of the world. My Christmas season was a typical Christmas season and
with me being born on Christmas Eve, it is also a celebration of my birthday.
Just a couple of days ago I found a cousins husband committed
suicide this past weekend. It was shocking to hear about this and even though
I wasn’t as close to him as other family members it is hard to believe he
committed suicide. He just didn’t seem to be depressed. He seemed so happy
and wouldn’t do anything to hurt my cousin who has had more than her share of
husbands who have mistreated her. She finally found a husband who cared about
her which makes it more shocking that this happened since you would think he
realized that he will be leaving a grieving wife who will be wondering for
the rest of her life if there is something she could have done to prevent him
from taking his life and will mourn his passing for the rest of her life! A
lot of times people who feel like committing suicide don’t realize that the
people they leave behind will be devastated by their suicide. In addition,
his wife that he left behind will have to find a way to pay for the house that
they shared. I’m not judging the actions of her husband as most people who
are thinking of suicide aren’t thinking about the grieving people they will
leave behind or the lifetime of problems they will leave for the people they
leave behind. They are suffering and see suicide as the only way out. I am
still coping with the reality that this really happened and I will be going to
his funeral later today. It just seems unreal especially when he didn’t seem to be
depressed or thinking of suicide.
I’ve only heard bits and pieces of what happened. From what I’ve
heard, he was fired from his job just after Christmas and a few days later while his
wife was visiting a relative, he carried out his plans to commit suicide. It seems
that the stress of losing his job especially with the economy the way it is and it
being right after Christmas, he was dealing with something that he needed help
dealing with.
It should be noted that people who feel suicidal aren’t weak and you don’t
have a flaw in their character. People can only handle so much and when they are unable to
cope it is very easy to think of suicide as the only solution to a problem. In the process
you never really think of the people you will leave behind and the affects that your suicide
will have on them. There is actually a support group that was started on the Internet for people
who are coping with the loss of a loved one through suicide. People who are thinking of
suicide aren’t necessarily selfish, they are focusing on these suicidal thoughts and forget
all about the people they leave behind and the problems their suicide will cause. They feel
hopeless and overwhelmed and see suicide as the only way out.
Like I mentioned in a previous entry, I once thought of suicide and
know a little about what someone who is thinking of suicide is going through. Some people
feel so ashamed to tell people of their suicidal thoughts or the failures that make them
feel suicidal that they never tell anyone. Suicide is a taboo subject and it can be hard
to tell people how you feel. In some cases people will leave hints such as making statements
that their life isn’t worth living. In my case I wrote a suicide note. I had no intentions
of committing suicide and leaving this note. I just left the note on a desk at school for someone
to see and hopefully get help because I couldn’t think of any other way of telling people about
how I feel. People who are suicidal may think that their friends and loved ones won’t care if they
are gone or that nobody will care but there are people who will be hurt by what you did. Most notably their
immediate family and others who know you.
Another thing to realize is you could affect the relations with friends
and loved ones long after you are gone. For example one relative has stated that they will not
be attending the funeral because this was a selfish act on the part of my cousins husband to
commit suicide leaving her behind with a house to pay for. This relative is also convinced that
there is more to his story than just losing his job since in their opinion this isn’t something to
commit suicide over. This concerns me since we could see a breakup of our family relationship and
see members no longer talk to each other. Instead of Christmas parties and other get togethers we
hold for our entire family we may end up with a divided family because people have picked sides. It may
have been selfish for him to take his life but you also must remember that people who are thinking
of suicide are not really thinking rationally and see suicide as the only way out and don’t realize
the problems their suicide will cause. In fact sometimes they feel like a burden to others and that
they are eliminating this burden by taking their own lives. Some feel that everyone hates them and
that the world would be better off without them. I never really thought of this aspect (causing
my own family to be divided) when I was thinking about suicide back in high school and never realized
until now how this could easily divide a family. I remember there was a worker in another area from
where I work who committed suicide and her co-workers (who were a group who got along well together)
actually started to drift away from each other after her suicide. Instead of a bunch that got along
well, her co-workers formed factions and there were the people who felt she was selfish and should be
forgotten and others who sympathized with her plight realizing that she felt trapped. Others chose a
third side arguing that the troubles she had were not bad enough to commit suicide over. Prior to
her successful attempt she tried another time before with pills and a lot of co-workers made accused
her of doing it just for attention and if she was serious she wouldn’t use pills. She found out about
these accusations which was probably the reason she chose a more lethal method the next time which
unfortunately was successful. Another thing people thinking of suicide may not be thinking about is
how some people could be so devastated and also take their life shortly after they do. Especially a
loved one such as a spouse.
One other thing suicidal people usually don’t think about is what happens if they fail?
Of course suicide is illegal in most states and they will be sent to a mental institution for an evaluation
and if it was serious enough they could be in an institution longer than the 72-hour evaluation or the two weeks that
people normally spend in an institution to turn their lives around. they also could have permanent disfigurement
or damage to their body as a result of their suicide attempt that makes their life worse than before they tried
to commit suicide.
My intentions were to give people who may never have dealt with suicidal thoughts understand
what it is like. I also wanted to give anyone who is thinking of suicide a warning that their suicide will be
devastating to everyone who knows them and people will be affected by what they did for the rest of their lives.
In addition, you can survive a suicide attempt and end up with a much worse life than you already have. I don’t
believe in shocking someone out of suicide but if you look at the pros and cons of committing suicide you will
probably realize that suicide isn’t really the solution you envisioned as a cure all. A lot of people will use
shock tactics such as the threat of eternal damnation but I really don’t think these tactic work. Most people
thinking of suicide think there is no other way out. If you are considering suicide please get help! You are not
weak for being suicidal. Try talking to a trusted friend who is non-judgmental, a member of your clergy, or
a therapist. There’s also suicide help lines in the phone book and if you really feel like you are going
to kill yourself, please call 911. Chances are suicide isn’t in your best interest and there are probably
more cons than pros to committing suicide. There is also the possibility that the problem you thought couldn’t
be resolved, can be resolved with the help of others. Most mental illnesses can be treated and just talking to
someone alone can be all the help you need. They can talk things over with you and help you come up with a better
solution.
Living with the aspergers curse. 